All next day at Beacon House there
was a crazy sense that it was everybody's birthday. It is the fashion to
talk of institutions as cold and cramping things. The truth is that when
people are in exceptionally high spirits, really wild with freedom and
invention, they always must, and they always do, create institutions. When
men are weary they fall into anarchy; but while they are gay and vigorous
they invariably make rules. This, which is true of all the churches and
republics of history, is also true of the most trivial parlour game or
the most unsophisticated meadow romp. We are never free until some institution
frees us; and liberty cannot exist till it is declared by authority. Even
the wild authority of the harlequin Smith was still authority, because
it produced everywhere a crop of crazy regulations and conditions. He filled
every one with his own half-lunatic life; but it was not expressed in destruction,
but rather in a dizzy and toppling construction. Each person with a hobby
found it turning into an institution. Rosamund's songs seemed to coalesce
into a kind of opera; Michael's jests and paragraphs into a magazine. His
pipe and her mandoline seemed between them to make a sort of smoking concert.
The bashful and bewildered Arthur Inglewood almost struggled against his
own growing importance. He felt as if, in spite of him, his photographs
were turning into a picture gallery, and his bicycle into a gymkhana. But
no one had any time to criticize these impromptu estates and offices, for
they followed each other in wild succession like the topics of a rambling
talker.
Existence with such a
man was an obstacle race made out of pleasant obstacles. Out of any homely
and trivial object he could drag reels of exaggeration, like a conjurer.
Nothing could be more shy and impersonal than poor Arthur's photography.
Yet the preposterous Smith was seen assisting him eagerly through sunny
morning hours, and an indefensible sequence described as "Moral Photography"
began to unroll about the boarding-house. It was only a version of the
old photographer's joke which produces the same figure twice on one plate,
making a man play chess with himself, dine with himself, and so on. But
these plates were more hysterical and ambitious -- as, "Miss Hunt forgets
Herself," showing that lady answering her own too rapturous recognition
with a most appalling stare of ignorance; or "Mr. Moon questions Himself,"
in which Mr. Moon appeared as one driven to madness under his own legal
cross-examination, which was conducted with a long forefinger and an air
of ferocious waggery. One highly successful trilogy -- representing Inglewood
recognizing Inglewood, Inglewood prostrating himself before Inglewood,
and Inglewood severely beating Inglewood with a stick -- Innocent Smith
wanted to have enlarged and put up in the hall, like a sort of fresco,
with the inscription, --
"Self-reverence, self-knowledge, self-control --
These three alone will make a man a prig."
Nothing, again, could be
more prosaic and impenetrable than the domestic energies of Miss Diana
Duke. But Innocent had somehow blundered on the discovery that her thrifty
dressmaking went with a considerable feminine care for dress -- the one
feminine thing that had never failed her solitary self-respect. In consequence
Smith pestered her with a theory (which he really seemed to take seriously)
that ladies might combine economy with magnificence if they would draw
light chalk patterns on a plain dress and then dust them off again. He
set up "Smith's Lightning Dressmaking Company," with two screens, a cardboard
placard, and box of bright soft crayons; and Miss Diana actually threw
him an abandoned black overall or working dress on which to exercise the
talents of a modiste. He promptly produced for her a garment aflame with
red and gold sunflowers; she held it up an instant to her shoulders, and
looked like an empress. And Arthur Inglewood, some hours afterwards cleaning
his bicycle (with his usual air of being inextricably hidden in it), glanced
up; and his hot face grew hotter, for Diana stood laughing for one flash
in the doorway, and her dark robe was rich with the green and purple of
great decorative peacocks, like a secret garden in the "Arabian Nights."
A pang too swift to be named pain or pleasure went through his heart like
an old-world rapier. He remembered how pretty he thought her years ago,
when he was ready to fall in love with anybody; but it was like remembering
a worship of some Babylonian princess in some previous existence. At his
next glimpse of her (and he caught himself awaiting it) the purple and
green chalk was dusted off, and she went by quickly in her working clothes.
As for Mrs. Duke, none
who knew that matron could conceive her as actively resisting this invasion
that had turned her house upside down. But among the most exact observers
it was seriously believed that she liked it. For she was one of those women
who at bottom regard all men as equally mad, wild animals of some utterly
separate species. And it is doubtful if she really saw anything more eccentric
or inexplicable in Smith's chimney-pot picnics or crimson sunflowers than
she had in the chemicals of Inglewood or the sardonic speeches of Moon.
Courtesy, on the other hand, is a thing that anybody can understand, and
Smith's manners were as courteous as they were unconventional. She said
he was "a real gentleman," by which she simply meant a kind-hearted man,
which is a very different thing. She would sit at the head of the table
with fat, folded hands and a fat, folded smile for hours and hours, while
every one else was talking at once. At least, the only other exception
was Rosamund's companion, Mary Gray, whose silence was of a much more eager
sort. Though she never spoke she always looked as if she might speak any
minute. Perhaps this is the very definition of a companion. Innocent Smith
seemed to throw himself, as into other adventures, into the adventure of
making her talk. He never succeeded, yet he was never snubbed; if he achieved
anything, it was only to draw attention to this quiet figure, and to turn
her, by ever so little, from a modesty to a mystery. But if she was a riddle,
every one recognized that she was a fresh and unspoilt riddle, like the
riddle of the sky and the woods in spring. Indeed, though she was rather
older than the other two girls, she had an early morning ardour, a fresh
earnestness of youth, which Rosamund seemed to have lost in the mere spending
of money, and Diana in the mere guarding of it. Smith looked at her again
and again. Her eyes and mouth were set in her face the wrong way -- which
was really the right way. She had the knack of saying everything with her
face: her silence was a sort of steady applause.
But among the hilarious
experiments of that holiday (which seemed more like a week's holiday than
a day's) one experiment towers supreme, not because it was any sillier
or more successful than the others, but because out of this particular
folly flowed all of the odd events that were to follow. All the other practical
jokes exploded of themselves, and left vacancy; all the other fictions
returned upon themselves, and were finished like a song. But the string
of solid and startling events -- which were to include a hansom cab, a
detective, a pistol, and a marriage licence -- were all made primarily
possible by the joke about the High Court of Beacon.
It had originated, not
with Innocent Smith, but with Michael Moon. He was in a strange glow and
pressure of spirits, and talked incessantly; yet he had never been more
sarcastic, and even inhuman. He used his old useless knowledge as a barrister
to talk entertainingly of a tribunal that was a parody on the pompous anomalies
of English law. The High Court of Beacon, he declared, was a splendid example
of our free and sensible constitution. It had been founded by King John
in defiance of the Magna Carta, and now held absolute power over windmills,
wine and spirit licences, ladies traveling in Turkey, revision of sentences
for dog-stealing and parricide, as well as anything whatever that happened
in the town of Market Bosworth. The whole hundred and nine seneschals of
the High Court of Beacon met once in every four centuries; but in the intervals
(as Mr. Moon explained) the whole powers of the institution were vested
in Mrs. Duke. Tossed about among the rest of the company, however, the
High Court did not retain its historical and legal seriousness, but was
used somewhat unscrupulously in a riot of domestic detail. If somebody
spilt the Worcester Sauce on the tablecloth, he was quite sure it was a
rite without which the sittings and findings of the Court would be invalid;
or if somebody wanted a window to remain shut, he would suddenly remember
that none but the third son of the lord of the manor of Penge had the right
to open it. They even went to the length of making arrests and conducting
criminal inquiries. The proposed trial of Moses Gould for patriotism was
rather above the heads of the company, especially of the criminal; but
the trial of Inglewood on a charge of photographic libel, and his triumphant
acquittal upon a plea of insanity, were admitted to be in the best tradition
of the Court.
But when Smith was in
wild spirits he grew more and more serious, not more and more flippant
like Michael Moon. This proposal of a private court of justice, which Moon
had thrown off with the detachment of a political humourist, Smith really
caught hold of with the eagerness of an abstract philosopher. It was by
far the best thing they could do, he declared, to claim sovereign powers
even for the individual household.
"You believe in Home
Rule for Ireland; I believe in Home Rule for homes," he cried eagerly to
Michael. "It would be better if every father could kill his son,
as with the old Romans; it would be better, because nobody would be killed.
Let's issue a Declaration of Independence from Beacon House. We could grow
enough greens in that garden to support us, and when the tax-collector
comes let's tell him we're self-supporting, and play on him with the hose.
...Well, perhaps, as you say, we couldn't very well have a hose, as that
comes from the main; but we could sink a well in this chalk, and a lot
could be done with water-jugs... Let this really be Beacon House. Let's
light a bonfire of independence on the roof, and see house after house
answering it across the valley of the Thames! Let us begin the League of
the Free Families! Away with Local Government! A fig for Local Patriotism!
Let every house be a sovereign state as this is, and judge its own children
by its own law, as we do by the Court of Beacon. Let us cut the painter,
and begin to be happy together, as if we were on a desert island."
"I know that desert island,"
said Michael Moon; "it only exists in the `Swiss Family Robinson.' A man
feels a strange desire for some sort of vegetable milk, and crash comes
down some unexpected cocoa-nut from some undiscovered monkey. A literary
man feels inclined to pen a sonnet, and at once an officious porcupine
rushes out of a thicket and shoots out one of his quills."
"Don't you say a word
against the `Swiss Family Robinson,'" cried Innocent with great warmth.
"It mayn't be exact science, but it's dead accurate philosophy. When you're
really shipwrecked, you do really find what you want. When you're really
on a desert island, you never find it a desert. If we were really besieged
in this garden, we'd find a hundred English birds and English berries that
we never knew were here. If we were snowed up in this room, we'd be the
better for reading scores of books in that bookcase that we don't even
know are there; we'd have talks with each other, good, terrible talks,
that we shall go to the grave without guessing; we'd find materials for
everything -- christening, marriage, or funeral; yes, even for a coronation
-- if we didn't decide to be a republic."
"A coronation on `Swiss
Family' lines, I suppose," said Michael, laughing. "Oh, I know you would
find everything in that atmosphere. If we wanted such a simple thing, for
instance, as a Coronation Canopy, we should walk down beyond the geraniums
and find the Canopy Tree in full bloom. If we wanted such a trifle as a
crown of gold, why, we should be digging up dandelions, and we should find
a gold mine under the lawn. And when we wanted oil for the ceremony, why
I suppose a great storm would wash everything on shore, and we should find
there was a Whale on the premises."
"And so there is
a whale on the premises for all you know," asseverated Smith, striking
the table with passion. "I bet you've never examined the premises! I bet
you've never been round at the back as I was this morning -- for I found
the very thing you say could only grow on a tree. There's an old sort of
square tent up against the dustbin; it's got three holes in the canvas,
and a pole's broken, so it's not much good as a tent, but as a Canopy --"
And his voice quite failed him to express its shining adequacy; then he
went on with controversial eagerness: "You see I take every challenge as
you make it. I believe every blessed thing you say couldn't be here has
been here all the time. You say you want a whale washed up for oil. Why,
there's oil in that cruet-stand at your elbow; and I don't believe anybody
has touched it or thought of it for years. And as for your gold crown,
we're none of us wealthy here, but we could collect enough ten-shilling
bits from our own pockets to string round a man's head for half an hour;
or one of Miss Hunt's gold bangles is nearly big enough to --"
The good-humoured Rosamund
was almost choking with laughter. "All is not gold that glitters," she
said, "and besides --"
"What a mistake that
is!" cried Innocent Smith, leaping up in great excitement. "All is gold
that glitters -- especially now we are a Sovereign State. What's the good
of a Sovereign State if you can't define a sovereign? We can make anything
a precious metal, as men could in the morning of the world. They didn't
choose gold because it was rare; your scientists can tell you twenty sorts
of slime much rarer. They chose gold because it was bright -- because it
was a hard thing to find, but pretty when you've found it. You can't fight
with golden swords or eat golden biscuits; you can only look at it -- an
you can look at it out here."
With one of his incalculable
motions he sprang back and burst open the doors into the garden. At the
same time also, with one of his gestures that never seemed at the instant
so unconventional as they were, he stretched out his hand to Mary Gray,
and led her out on to the lawn as if for a dance.
The French windows, thus
flung open, let in an evening even lovelier than that of the day before.
The west was swimming with sanguine colours, and a sort of sleepy flame
lay along the lawn. The twisted shadows of the one or two garden trees
showed upon this sheen, not gray or black, as in common daylight, but like
arabesques written in vivid violet ink on some page of Eastern gold. The
sunset was one of those festive and yet mysterious conflagrations in which
common things by their colours remind us of costly or curious things. The
slates upon the sloping roof burned like the plumes of a vast peacock,
in every mysterious blend of blue and green. The red-brown bricks of the
wall glowed with all the October tints of strong ruby and tawny wines.
The sun seemed to set each object alight with a different coloured flame,
like a man lighting fireworks; and even Innocent's hair, which was of a
rather colourless fairness, seemed to have a flame of pagan gold on it
as he strode across the lawn towards the one tall ridge of rockery.
"What would be the good
of gold," he was saying, "if it did not glitter? Why should we care for
a black sovereign any more than for a black sun at noon? A black button
would do just as well. Don't you see that everything in this garden looks
like a jewel? And will you kindly tell me what the deuce is the good of
a jewel except that it looks like a jewel? Leave off buying and selling,
and start looking! Open your eyes, and you'll wake up in the New Jerusalem.
"All is gold that glitters--
Tree and tower of brass;
Rolls the golden evening air
Down the golden grass.
Kick the cry to Jericho,
How yellow mud is sold,
All is gold that glitters,
For the glitter is the gold."
"And who wrote that?" asked
Rosamund, amused.
"No one will ever write
it," answered Smith, and cleared the rockery with a flying leap.
"Really," said Rosamund
to Michael Moon, "he ought to be sent to an asylum. Don't you think so?"
"I beg your pardon,"
inquired Michael, rather sombrely; his long, swarthy head was dark against
the sunset, and, either by accident or mood, he had the look of something
isolated and even hostile amid the social extravagance of the garden.
"I only said Mr. Smith
ought to go to an asylum," repeated the lady.
The lean face seemed
to grow longer and longer, for Moon was unmistakably sneering. "No," he
said; "I don't think it's at all necessary."
"What do you mean?" asked
Rosamund quickly. "Why not?"
"Because he is in one
now," answered Michael Moon, in a quiet but ugly voice. "Why, didn't you
know?"
"What?" cried the girl,
and there was a break in her voice; for the Irishman's face and voice were
really almost creepy. With his dark figure and dark sayings in all that
sunshine he looked like the devil in paradise.
"I'm sorry," he continued,
with a sort of harsh humility. "Of course we don't talk about it much...
but I thought we all really knew."
"Knew what?"
"Well," answered Moon,
"that Beacon House is a certain rather singular sort of house -- a house
with the tiles loose, shall we say? Innocent Smith is only the doctor that
visits us; hadn't you come when he called before? As most of our maladies
are melancholic, of course he has to be extra cheery. Sanity, of course,
seems a very bumptious eccentric thing to us. Jumping over a wall, climbing
a tree -- that's his bedside manner."
"You daren't say such
a thing!" cried Rosamund in a rage. "You daren't suggest that I --"
"Not more than I am,"
said Michael soothingly; "not more than the rest of us. Haven't you ever
noticed that Miss Duke never sits still -- a notorious sign? Haven't you
ever observed that Inglewood is always washing his hands-- a known mark
of mental disease? I, of course, am a dipsomaniac."
"I don't believe you,"
broke out his companion, not without agitation. "I've heard you had some
bad habits --"
"All habits are bad habits,"
said Michael, with deadly calm. "Madness does not come by breaking out,
but by giving in; by settling down in some dirty, little, self-repeating
circle of ideas; by being tamed. You went mad about money, because
you're an heiress."
"It's a lie," cried Rosamund
furiously. "I never was mean about money."
"You were worse," said
Michael, in a low voice and yet violently. "You thought that other people
were. You thought every man who came near you must be a fortune-hunter;
you would not let yourself go and be sane; and now you're mad and I'm mad,
and serve us right."
"You brute!" said Rosamund,
quite white. "And is this true?"
With the intellectual
cruelty of which the Celt is capable when his abysses are in revolt, Michael
was silent for some seconds, and then stepped back with an ironical bow.
"Not literally true, of course," he said; "only really true. An allegory,
shall we say? A social satire."
"And I hate and despise
your satires," cried Rosamund Hunt, letting loose her whole forcible female
personality like a cyclone, and speaking every word to wound. "I despise
it as I despise your rank tobacco, and your nasty, loungy ways, and your
snarling, and your Radicalism, and your old clothes, and your potty little
newspaper, and your rotten failure at everything. I don't care whether
you call it snobbishness or not, I like life and success, and jolly things
to look at, and action. You won't frighten me with Diogenes; I prefer Alexander."
"Victrix causa deae
--" said Michael gloomily; and this angered her more, as, not knowing what
it meant, she imagined it to be witty.
"Oh, I dare say you know
Greek," she said, with cheerful inaccuracy; "you haven't done much with
that either." And she crossed the garden, pursuing the vanished Innocent
and Mary.
In doing so she passed
Inglewood, who was returning to the house slowly, and with a thought-clouded
brow. He was one of those men who are quite clever, but quite the reverse
of quick. As he came back out of the sunset garden into the twilight parlour,
Diana Duke slipped swiftly to her feet and began putting away the tea things.
But it was not before Inglewood had seen an instantaneous picture so unique
that he might well have snapshotted it with his everlasting camera. For
Diana had been sitting in front of her unfinished work with her chin on
her hand, looking straight out of the window in pure thoughtless thought.
"You are busy," said
Arthur, oddly embarrassed with what he had seen, and wishing to ignore
it.
"There's no time for
dreaming in this world," answered the young lady with her back to him.
"I have been thinking
lately," said Inglewood in a low voice, "that there's no time for waking
up."
She did not reply, and
he walked to the window and looked out on the garden.
"I don't smoke or drink,
you know," he said irrelevantly, "because I think they're drugs. And yet
I fancy all hobbies, like my camera and bicycle, are drugs too. Getting
under a black hood, getting into a dark room -- getting into a hole anyhow.
Drugging myself with speed, and sunshine, and fatigue, and fresh air. Pedaling
the machine so fast that I turn into a machine myself. That's the matter
with all of us. We're too busy to wake up."
"Well," said the girl
solidly, "what is there to wake up to?"
"There must be!" cried
Inglewood, turning round in a singular excitement -- "there must be something
to wake up to! All we do is preparations -- your cleanliness, and my healthiness,
and Warner's scientific appliances. We're always preparing for something
-- something that never comes off. I ventilate the house, and you sweep
the house; but what is going to happen in the house?"
She was looking at him
quietly, but with very bright eyes, and seemed to be searching for some
form of words which she could not find.
Before she could speak
the door burst open, and the boisterous Rosamund Hunt, in her flamboyant
white hat, boa, and parasol, stood framed in the doorway. She was in a
breathing heat, and on her open face was an expression of the most infantile
astonishment.
"Well, here's a fine
game!" she said, panting. "What am I to do now, I wonder? I've wired for
Dr. Warner; that's all I can think of doing."
"What is the matter?"
asked Diana, rather sharply, but moving forward like one used to be called
upon for assistance.
"It's Mary," said the
heiress, "my companion Mary Gray: that cracked friend of yours called Smith
has proposed to her in the garden, after ten hours' acquaintance, and he
wants to go off with her now for a special licence."
Arthur Inglewood walked
to the open French windows and looked out on the garden, still golden with
evening light. Nothing moved there but a bird or two hopping and twittering;
but beyond the hedge and railings, in the road outside the garden gate,
a hansom cab was waiting, with the yellow Gladstone bag on top of it.